The past can haunt you—no matter where you go. The future is so uncertain that it scares the lights out of you. Which would you rather run away from?
If you’re with the right person, you don’t have to escape from anything. But you may be asking what type of person we’re talking about. Well, you know, that person who makes you happy and exasperated—at the same time. The one who pushes you to your limit but always fights at your side when the going gets tough. A partner who will criticize your mistakes but will support your rehabilitation from the blunder. You may not know for sure if she is going to be yours forever, although she’s the one you want to grow old with.
In the arms of this person, suddenly the past doesn’t seem like the monster in your nightmares. The future lost some of its scary and ambiguous sting. You find yourself looking forward to what tomorrow will bring. In a heartbeat, you want to plan your life with the person. Now the question is, how would you imagine and create a future with your partner?
Talk it out. Have an honest conversation of what you both want in life—where you want your relationship to go. Don’t just sit down, list the dos and don’ts, and then go all formal about it. Just let the conversation flow naturally, and let your love for each other guide you.
Never impose your dreams. More often than not, we have our own idea of where the relationship should go. But it doesn’t mean we should enforce our plans to our partner. Chances are that they have their own plans too. So share your insights to each other and adjust things accordingly in order to arrive to a future that you both want to prepare for.
Keep it light. No, don’t joke around while you’re setting your goals. But don’t be too uptight when you’re expressing your hopes and dreams for the relationship. Don’t let any pressure push you to say things that you don’t actually mean. Most importantly, don’t be disappointed if you haven’t created a definite plan in one sitting. Planning the future takes time, and it doesn’t necessarily mean you need to do it all in one day.
Practice patience. It is possible that your partner is not yet ready to talk during the time that you’re ready. Give them enough time to think things through, and wait for them to make up their mind. Trust her love for you; she will decide about it in no time. When she is ready, she will talk to you.
Of course, these things don’t fit all relationship circumstances. You may notice that one or two of these tips aren’t applicable for you and your partner. Remember that these are only suggestions that will help steer your planning to the right direction or serve as an inspiration. It’s still up to you and your partner on how you will approach the conceptualization of your future plans.